This morning driving the kids to summer camp, we had an interesting discussion about creativity, vulnerability and courage to open up and share the gift that we are.
I’ve been struggling with this for the past days and am looking at what it would take to create what I truly desire and contribute with all of me, without hiding any part or aspect of me anymore. What is truly going here ?
I’ve been having thoughts that it’s not safe for me to open up and have been looking for that safety from the outside circumstances. Like a wild horse squeezed in a shoe box, I have wildly fought the situation and tried everything NOT to face the truth, blaming outside circumstances including my partner or money for not being that safe space for me. And while it’s true that my Radiant Goddess desires to be loved and protected to open up and shine her light, it’s also true that I need to be that safe space for myself and let go of old limiting beliefs that something terrible will happen if I allow myself to be vulnerable and express my creative brightness that passionately wants to be seen and heard.
When asking my kids how I can let myself be fully creative, open up and how THEY create, Nils (8 years) just replied : “Mom, I just do it, when I create with legos, sometimes my fingers hurt – but I do it anyway …” and then he added something that woke me up and made me smile : “So what do YOU know about that ?”, and instantly I KNEW ! His allowance without any point of view about me or the situation and his non judgmental question gave me access to me and I could access my knowing. I knew that even if I’m terrified to create something truly authentic, I just have to go for it anyway. I have to keep opening my heart and be courageously vulnerable and be that safe space for myself AND ask for help and let others contribute to me. It all came down to RECEIVING again and pulling my barriers of protection even further down.
And then Noa’s (6 years) from the back of the car added : “So mom, what could you choose to have more pleasure today ?” And my heart cracked open !
What could I choose to enjoy my life even more, in every moment ? And again, I JUST KNEW … In that moment I chose to let go of the upset to start looking at what is in stead of what should or could be.
So what do YOU know ? What can you be or do different today that would allow you more pleasure and joy right away ?